Oh Lord, it's Hard to be Humble

A dear friend of mine taught me a song when I was 17. Called, "Hard to be Humble," it in many ways was both everything and nothing like him. The song is full of energy and charisma. It also demands your attention. These are both, in positive ways, attributes that my fried possessed. However, as the name suggests, it portrays a person to whom humility is a stranger, and this was not at all a reflection of his personality.

Marvin Willis was an entertainer. He brought the energy to every environment he was in, and found a way to sniff out the talents in others and get them to utilize them. He was a dreamer, a musician, a confidant, and a mentor.



I met Marvin when I was 16 at a soaring contest, the 1-26 National Championships. (www.ssa.org if you want to know more about sailplanes). Basically, my dad flew in these contests and I went along with my parents every summer for a few summers in a row because the people are incredible (and Marvin was one of these) so it was like a big family reunion every summer.




Marvin provided much of the entertainment at these events since I began going (and well before) and he was always much of my motivation for trying to make it back each summer. Unfortunately, I didn't get to go to the championships this summer due to work and it is something I have been trying not to dwell on these last few days.

Marvin passed away at the end of the week while on a square dancing vacation with his wife, Betty, and I really can't think of a better way for him to leave this world. Being away from my friends and family and not with my soaring family since I found out Thursday evening has been extremely difficult, but I am so so grateful to have such a support system around me. Marvin's family has requested that in lieu of flowers, people give money to their favorite charity, and this has just solidified even more my assurance that I'm in the right place. I know that Marvin would be proud of what I'm doing, though it doesn't always make sense (you're not getting paid and you're living in a van for 10 weeks over a war that isn't even effecting you?!) and I often doubt myself.

Marvin's death reminds me to live the hell out of life. We all have a desire to do something meaningful with our lives, to make a difference, to impact someone, and that manifests itself in different ways. I hope to be a person who possesses the energy Marvin did-to be able to improve the days of those around me just by being present and taking advantage of every moment.

Oh Lord it's hard to be humble
when you're perfect in every way.
I can't wait to look in the mirror
cause I get better looking each day.
To know me is to love me
I must be a hell of a man.
Oh Lord it's hard to be humble
but I'm doing the best that I can.

I used to have a girlfriend
but she just couldn't compete
with all of these love starved women
who keep clamoring at my feet.
Well I prob'ly could find me another
but I guess they're all in awe of me.
Who cares, I never get lonesome
cause I treasure my own company.

Oh Lord it's hard to be humble
when you're perfect in every way,
I can't wait to look in the mirror
cause I get better looking each day
To know me is to love me
I must be a hell of a man.
Oh Lord it's hard to be humble
but I'm doing the best that I can.

I guess you could say I'm a loner,
a cowboy outlaw tough and proud.
I could have lots of friends if I want to
but then I wouldn't stand out from the crowd.
Some folks say that I'm egotistical.
Hell, I don't even know what that means.
I guess it has something to do with the way that I
fill out my skin tight blue jeans.

Oh Lord it's hard to be humble
when you're perfect in every way,
I can't wait to look in the mirror
cause I get better looking each day
To know me is to love me
I must be a hell of a man.
Oh Lord it's hard to be humble
but I'm doing the best that I can.
We're doing the best that we can

Love and Uganda

In less than 24 hours, our new teammates arrive! Tomorrow evening we will leave the office and go pick them up, and I can't wait! I will give more detail about them later, but seeing as I just got to work and need to get to booking, for now I will just include a photo of the 22 amazing people that will be joining our teams.

Pardon the Absence

So, things have been just a little crazy the last week or so. I'll try to explain slightly in a concise, short(ish) entry, because I'm exhausted and may become incoherent shortly.

First, this experience is all kinds of crazy. I know I've mentioned this before, I'm merely reiterating. It really is very similar to college in several ways, except everyone here has this one really big thing in common; a love of IC. Well, I use the term "love" loosely, as we've all come to Invisible Children from different places. Some of us are "lifers," those people that got involved their freshman year of high school (or earlier), lead their club at school, and won Schools For Schools, eventually culminating in a summer trip to Uganda. There are several of these people here, and they are INCREDIBLE. They tend to have an awesome dedication and drive, and in every way seem to be normal teenagers or early 20-somethings, until you bring up terms like Uganda, LRA, child soldiers, etc. Then you discover that they are packed full of information and heart, and I love it. One such example of this is my teammate, Ali. She worked herself to death in high school managing her S4S club and has wanted to be a Roadie for years. Ali has already been such a resource-she motivates me when I'm worn out and dragging, and her personal stories of her trip give me new insight.

I often find myself needing this, because I'm in the other group: the IjustdiscoveredinvisiblechilrdrenandIfoundmyselflovingitanddoveinheadfirstbutthatmakesitallkindsofchallenging kind.

I'm finding that approaching it from this perspective has its own beauty as well. I think our team is particularly beautiful because we are a mix of the two. Zach and Ali have both been involved for years, whereas Terra and I both came to IC more recently, and these two types of people both bring unique perspectives to a screening, and to the living environment here at the house.

The first week of training, we had to learn how to tell our "IC story." This doesn't just mean telling how you came to be a Roadie, but being able to tell the story to different groups of people from varying backgrounds, for different lengths of time, and make it effective every time. That being said, I've decided that "what's your IC story?" is the "So what's your major?" of the Roadie world. So I'm learning how to tell my story and keep it fresh, just by telling it to my roommates and random people we meet.

Not that we meet many people, my life has been mostly booking for the last week. BOOKING. It means working on a database all day, making cold calls, returning calls, writing emails, that kind of stuff that 99% of us generally consider to be kind of awkward. Fortunately, it got better. A lot better. So much better that I now look forward to going in each morning and attacking my contacts again. Not ferociously, mind you, just in a kind, gentle, IreallyneedyoutoagreetothisscreeningandsendinyourscreeningagreementsoIcanringthegong kind of way.

Speaking of the gong-IT'S AWESOME! OK, awesome when you get to ring it, sometimes annoying after listening to it for 12 hours, but still always special. The gong means we have a screening in, the gong means we are one screening closer to our goal, and a tiny piece of the stress can be removed. Eh, maybe not really removed, but it's less stress we will incur in the future.

Anyway, I have gotten to ring said gong once (yesterday) and hope to ring a couple more tomorrow, its just difficult depending on people to come through. Just another lesson I have learned unintentionally so far.

The rambling I promised to avoid has set in, so I'm going to go put on my jammies and try to pass out. This is more difficult than it as initially, because San Diego decided to have a heat wave. The typical climate here is so mild that people don't turn on their AC, which is awesome! I have no right to complain, though, because its still consistently cooler (and much lower in humidity) than home.

Ooops, there goes the rambling again....

Goodnight friends, I hope you're all already asleep.

Much Peace.

The Anatomy of a Roadie House

Morning in La Mesa is mah favorite. For my east-coasters, I know it's already well into the afternoon, but here on this pretty Sunday morning, people are just waking up after late night conversations, spontaneous jam sessions (its kind of like Lee in that every other person seems to play guitar or sing) and crazy camp-style games. Therefore, the house is kind of quiet (a rarity) and I'm sitting next to the open sliding door looking over the balcony to the town below. Seriously, this house is awesome, and its only through the grace of the landlords that IC is able to keep renting it.

So here's the breakdown: the main level of the house has three bedrooms, all girls, with two bathrooms, one with two showers and one in the master bedroom which has another. Oh, and I forgot our half bath Also sharing these bathrooms are the girls in the loft, so shower times are interesting, but not nearly as bad as I thought it would be. In the basement (which is sweet) live the guys, and, for the first time, a room of girls as well. Typically, the guys all share the shower and bathroom that is down there, but unfortunately the septic backed up Friday night. Somehow we were able to shut it off down there, but are still able to use our water upstairs, so now we have all 60 of us sharing the upstairs bathrooms. INSANE, right?! Somehow, it hasn't really made that much of a difference. Yes, it will be hectic trying to all get ready for work tomorrow (the landlords are hoping to fix it Monday or Tuesday) but it hasn't changed much. The guys are really great about giving the girls privacy, and it helps that they are only using the showers in the hall bathroom, not in the master.

Anyway, none of this may seem interesting or pertinent, but my point is: I've learned a lot already about living in situations I'm not accustomed to. Here's my uber-fortunate-middle-class-white-girl plug: Very rarely have I ever been uncomfortable in my life. Rarely have I had to adjust my living style or limit my belongings due to space considerations. And as ridiculous as this may sound, I've found it very freeing. I mean, girls are still girls here, we still blow dry our hair, put on makeup, and shave our legs, but it feels more like its by choice, not by some outside pressure to do so. Eh, maybe this is just ridiculous, or I'm making something out of nothing, but I feel like there's a peace that comes with that. Yes, the days are long and stressful, and only about to get longer and more stress-filled, but at the end of it, we come back to the house and its home. There's somehow a sense of peace in the midst of the chaos that inherently comes with living with 60 people. I counted the other day, and I believe that about half of us are returners, so all of us newbies are having to get to know one another as well as the returners, and fit into this little world that has been created here time and time again. It sounds crazy, yet somehow it works! This insane IC system of high expectations and demands has brought us to some degree of closeness. Not to say I know everyone's life history, but even if you're not close with someone, there's just that shared thing that you both have in common. We all come from different backgrounds and have been forced together in this strange marriage, but somehow I know its going to do something amazing.

Love and Peace,
SarahSweet mug we have in the house :)

Stories Told.

Once upon a time, a girl of 23 years traveled to a distant land (San Diego) to live with 63 strangers from strange backgrounds (Roadies). She learned about people she didn't know with heartbreaking stories (the Acholi people in Northern Uganda). These people had been forced from their home, mutilated, and abducted. They were child mothers, child heads of households, former child soldiers, and in general children without childhoods. These children were often unseen and unheard, but things were looking slightly better. The LRA had left Uganda, and organizations such as Invisible Children were helping to make a difference in the recovery and healing of the country.

There is still so much to be done. I realize this more and more as I'm here. What's crazy is that I've been here less than a week but I've already been so emerged in the events of the past 20 years, the current situation, and our hope for the future.

_______________________________
Today was in many ways a break from the emotional strain of the last week. I went to the beach with a large group of us Roadie types and had time to relax, lay on the sand, jump in the freezing (seriously) pacific, browse through a couple of beachy shops, and walk around the outdoor market.

A Necklace I found in the market, fitting, eh?

Upon returning back, however, I watched a couple of IC's bracelet videos (short videos of about half an hour that tell the story of Ugandan students) and thus the emotional onslaught began again. I watched Roseline, followed by Grace, and those two alone left me in a reflective and kinda mentally messy mood (Woah, alliteration). It was in this mental state that I spoke with someone from home. I'm finding it difficult to keep in touch with everyone, seeing as I don't have much free time and so I value what time I do get to catch up with people. After said chat, I was able to tuck all my emotions and broodingish thoughts away for a bit and join in with a rousing game of CatchPhrase (particularly ridiculous with this group). Afterward, however, several of us watched Sunday, another bracelet video (so named because when you buy the dvd, you get two bracelets made by Ugandans in IDP camps, which are fortunately no longer necessary) which kinda put me back in my funk. What really did it was walking on our back balcony and looking over our neat little town and thinking just how fortunate we are to be where we are. I know I can't beat myself up for living in such an awesome situation, but it's just frustrating to feel like I could be doing more. Yes, I'm currently living in a very small shared space with 60 people, with a limited budget, but even here I'm still way better off than the majority of the world.

That said, my goal is to just live in the present moment, not thinking about anything I may be missing at home, and fully dedicate myself to this experience. I've already grown close to so many of these people in just the last 6 days (6 days, really?!!). As always ,however, I can't thank those of you at home who have supported me in any fashion, you all are the reason I am able to do this. Thank you especially for your thoughts and prayers.
Love and Peace.
Sarah

Office Space

I've decided that lunch time every other day will be my attempt to catch up on my social networking, specifically, this blog. The internet at the house is kind of overloaded (shock, with 63 people on it) and my computer is older so it doesn't like behaving. Therefore, this is my time to get things like this done, which aren't a priority in the evenings as I'm trying to spend time with the housemates and (here's the time consumer) study and learn all the information required of me. That said, I really really want to keep everyone updated so I'm going to try my best :)

Speaking of studying, the first day in the office was kind over overwhelming for me. Some of my fellow roadies have spent the last 2, 3, 4, etc years following IC and being involved with our programs and events, so I feel like I'm constantly playing catch up. Yesterday, however, went really smoothly and I'm starting to get a grasp on everything and feel more like I have my feet underneath me. Today has been good so far, we're learning about Salesforce, the program we use to keep track of all of our awesome contacts (it's so easy to start dealing with us if you want to get a screening at your school, church, etc!). It's kind of a magical program and I can't wait to start using it. After lunch, i.e., in 20 min, we'll hear in more detail (and I will again take tons of notes in my effort to feel on top of things) about all of our programs.

The days are full and the work is work, but I really have learned so much in just the last few days (I've only been here since Sunday? What?!) the hearts of these people are amazing, the organization is totally reputable, and I can tell I will be prepared by the time I go on the road.


Speaking of preparation, one of the ways they do this is to have a review quizzing time every morning at the office. First thing, we all get in a room together (new and returning roadies) and they call a random number (we've each been assigned one) and we have to go to the front of the room and answer the question as if we were on stage. Fortunately, I've yet to be hit with a hard one, but yesterday I was asked to give my "IC story," meaning briefly tell how I came to be a roadie as if I were presenting to students. I think it was after this point that I really realized I could do this; I've always enjoyed public speaking but there is something terrifying about going in front of 60 of your peers, plus supervisors, and laying it out there. At the end, however, I felt that I had done a good job and began to feel more confident that this is where I'm supposed to be.
The affirmation, love, and joy that has come from these people is insane. The office is a visual history of IC, with all of our promotional posters and photos of the LRA and child soldiers on the walls, it's incredible. It's such a conglomeration of different types of people, all working towards several specific goals (which I will gladly share with anyone with more questions) and its this that makes the being crammed with 60 people and working long days totally worth it. I know I'm not even beginning to feel as worn out as I will, and I can't wait to go on the road and be stretched and forced to grow in so many new directions. It's really an amazing position that I've been put in, and as always, I love and appreciate all of you for your support in what I'm doing. I can't wait to share more stories with you all!

Love and Peace.
Sarah

P.S. I'm about halfway to my support goal, which is awesome! I'm so so thankful to everyone who has been able to give, but if you know anyone who is interested in IC and in helping a starving Roadie, please send them to My Support Page to make a donation to my Kintera account. It's totally tax-deductible, IC will send you a receipt and it's definitely a secure site.
Again, much love :)

Go West

Four months ago I barely knew what Invisible Children was, and didn't know what being a Roadie meant. Now I'm sitting on a couch in the "Roadie Villa" listening to all the happy noise around me. Living in a house with 60+ people is obviously chaotic, and that has begun set in. I'm going to be living in a room with 7 other people for 5 weeks in the midst of going to the office every day, booking screenings, having tons and tons of information shoved into my brain, and trying to get to know all these unique and awesome people around me.

Sound crazy yet?

I still don't know if it has hit me that this is real, but then again, maybe it won't ever really hit that point. Maybe I don't want it to. I don't want to take any of this for granted, I don't want it to become normal, I just want to soak it all up and live in every single moment. I'm trying to prepare myself for a life of sleep-deprivation and chaos, but beautiful, controlled chaos.

Speaking of beautiful, my trip out here was absolutely gorgeous. It was over four days of driving, hotels, meeting up with friends, seeing random crazy roadside sites, and spending time with one of my favorite people.

Here's my basic life from Wednesday until last night:
Wed 8/4: Left from Maryville, stopped at Slave burial site in Oak Ridge, stopped in Little Rock and explored the William J. Clinton Presidential Library, then the site of integration, Central High School. We lodged in Ft. Smith for the evening.
Thurs 8/4: Crossed into Oklahoma, got a speeding ticket (thanks OK), made it into New Mexico where we stayed with my friend Mitch for the night.
Fri 8/5: Drove forever across New Mexico, stopping at Billy the Kid's burial ground, and later in Albuquerque where we road the tram up the Sandia Peak (sooo sweet!) and ate New Mexican in Old Town. Made it to Gallup for the night, where we stayed in El Rancho, a cute hotel where old Hollywood stayed (including Doris Day, my favorite).
Saturday 8/6: Drove seemingly forever. We cut down through Arizona (and the desert) stopping first at the petrified forest and then at a ghost town. We kept driving towards Phoenix, where we stopped at ate dinner with a college friend, Frank. We ended up staying with him after realizing that there wasn't much passed Phoenix except desert.
Sunday 8/7: Courtlin was awesome enough to hang out a while at Frank's in the morning so I could get some work on my IC blog done (we had a lot of prearrival work to do to help us orient to what we'd be coming into, and learn about the history of the war) and then we headed back out across even more desert. I think we discovered 3 or 4 types of desert that we weren't aware existed. Yet again, AWESOME! After a long day of driving (though far shorter than other days) we made it to the San Diego area and the Roadie house. Since then, it has been a whirlwind of meeting people and settling in, and a bit of exploring the nearby town.

So that's it for now, I think. I plan to attempt to update this regularly. I'm still working on getting more funds for this adventure, and trying to get my mind wrapped around everything that's about to happen, so prayers and thoughts are fully appreciated.

Love and Peace, Sarah